I dont understand

Why does this still hurts? Why do I still cry? Is it because this other person gets to do everything I ever wanted to do with him. He gets to have the relationship I always dreamed of having with him. He has met his parents, gone to Europe with him, it's not fair. What was so wrong with me that I was hidden? Why was I kept a secret? Did he not love me as much? Was he ashamed of me? embarrassed by me? I hate that when I lay alone on my bed at night I think of the two of them together, cuddling, and it hurts.  Why does he get to be happy?  I guess it hurts because when I was with him, my life had meaning, it had purpose. I could create a future with him, I did create a future with him. There was a plan! I moved for him! I changed my major for him! I did everything for him! And where is now, not here! I know this is just some angry rant, I know he does care and is just doing what he feels is right for him and living his life. I know he is always there for me for whatever I need, I know he loved me with all his heart. It hurts because I saw it all happen right in front of me and I did nothing, if only I had said don't hang out with him, where would I be now?