Adam is sick of feeling hurt..

Im so sick of this pain. This constant intense pain in my soul. I wish I understood more. I wish there more answers. I wish I ........I just want this pain to go way. I know this is the risk you take when you fall in love and you put yourself on the line, but you never think its gonna end. I know he is still there for me, but its the end of so much. I feel like I've been rejected. I know I haven't been replaced, but it feels a little like it. I know I gave him permission to do what he did, but it happened so fast it still feels like cheating somehow. I just need to focus on the positive. I've never lived on my own, it might be fun, it will be an adventure. I get to work two jobs, think of all the skills I'll learn from my second job. Maybe this is all for the best, but its hard to think that. It's hard to think that this ending is a good thing. I have to be strong. I have to hold my head up. I'm so tired of crying. I just have to take what I can from this experience and move forward. It's just gonna be weird being his friend, and only his friend. Its like getting into the VIP back room of a cool club. You get comfortable and then out of the blue you get kicked out. You can still go to the club, it's not gone. You can fun  at the club, dance and stuff, but that back room is off limits now. You still love the club, you just worry if it's gonna be the same. Especially because someone else is in that back room instead of you. I don't know. Im gonna study a little and hit the hay, busy ass day tomorrow!