Home sick..

So I woke up at 3am with massive stomach cramps and then proceeded to throw up...yay? So much stuff going on right now. I guess I'll start with the most recent and move backwards. Sort of had a date last night. We hung out, just talked a lot. At the end he kissed me and it was just really weird. I'm kissing this guy and it's like I'm having an out of body experience. I don't know if it was just because he was a bad kisser or because he wasn't dante. Dante was an amazing kisser, and there was passion, I miss that... I'm trying so hard to move on, but I guess I'm still angry at him. I don't want to be angry.  I guess the main problem is that I still love him and I don't know how to feel differently. I'm the one that got dumped, this wasn't my choice. He ended it, he found someone else, he wasn't happy. Right now he is in some really nice hotel with this guy for spring break and it is killing me. I guess I'm really angry at him because I moved my whole life to be with him, not that my life in el cajon was great, but  my family is there and my friends are there. All I have up here is him, and he's not mine anymore. I know he will always be there for me, but if he gets really serious with this guy things might change. It sucks when you feel like you have found the one, but that person doesn't think you're the one. I thought we were stronger because we had different taste in things, we we're really similar on a basic level, but liked different stuff. I thought that was great. How am I ever going to experience anything new if I surrounded myself with people who like the same things I like. Well let's move on. My niece was born! She is adorable!!! and what else.... I guess thats it for now. I'm gonna go lye down...